Wizards' correspondence
by Kuro no Kage
Summary: Just some small drables about some letters HP characters could have exchanged, coming from funny random reflections. Have fun reading, and don't forget humor is good for your health!
1. Dumby and Voldy

Hi everyone!

This is the translation a friend of mine did for me of one of my fics called "Correspondances sorcières". I corrected it afterwards, but as both of us are just two random French girls, you may find some mistakes, so don't hesitate to tell me in reviews, and sorry if my English sucks.

Enjoy,

Kuro.

* * *

 _"Hello Tom,_

 _Could you have the extreme kindness to only attack my students in the end of the school year, please, as to not impinge on their studies? Indeed, your shenanigans are rather disturbing to young teens._

 _Thank you,_

 _A. Dumbledore._

 _PS : If you need I still have your academic record at your disposal."_

 _"Old fool,_

 _I agree, to the condition that you let Harry and his buddies to fend for themselves, they already are three against me, and their number only increase over the tomes._

 _The Dark Lord, Voldemort._

 _PS : Refrain now to call me Tom, it sound much less frightening then Lord Voldemort."_

 _"Dear Tom (you will always be a little boy to me),_

 _Thanks a lot for your attention, I knew there was something good left deep down in you, somewhere. I send you some citrus candies to seal our agreement,_

 _Best regards,_

 _A. Dumbledore."_

* * *

That was it for the first chapter of this fic. It will be only drabbles, mostly without relation with the previous ones. I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing.

See ya all,

A mysterious jellyfish.


	2. Notice to Death Eaters

Hey

Here is the new chapter, where you'll read a very important invitation for tha meeting of the year!

Enjoy,

Kuro

* * *

 _Hello to you, faithful servants._

 _Here your master, Voldemort, president of misunderstood and anonymous psychopaths. I invite you all to a banquet, meant to celebrate my return from the Dead. So a small reception will take place at Godric Hollow's cemetery, at the end of the school year, in accordance to my agreement with Dumbledore*._

 _Schedule :_

 _-Arrival of our surprise guest, Harry Potter (a surprise for him that is)._

 _-The resurrection of the Dark Lord, aka myself (big cauldron, flesh of the servant willingly given, blood of the enemy taken by force and all that…)._

 _-Tortures._

 _-Protestation of loyalty._

 _-Screams._

 _-Tortures._

 _Main participants:_

 _-Master of ceremony: Lord Voldemort._

 _-Mistress of tortures: Bellatrix Lestrange._

 _-Masochistic (and soon disabled) servant: Peter Petigrow._

 _-Surprise guest: Harry Potter._

 _-Tall frigid blonde: Lucius Malfoy._

 _Come as many as possible, especially if you do not want to get avadakadevrised._

 _Dangerously,_

 _Your master, the Dark Lord, Voldemort._

*Explanation in the first drabble.

* * *

Again, this is a translation from French, done by non-professionals, so I apologize if some mistakes remain.

Hoping you enjoyed and for reviews

See ya all,

A dark unicorn


	3. Daddy Voldy in trouble

Hi erveryone, and welcome in this third episode of my wonderful drabble serie!

Enjoy,

Kuro

* * *

Journal my servant, I have today a major concern to confide to you: since I created all of these horcruxes I have to wonder if it really was a good idea. Indeed, I feel paranoid and like a schizophrenic: I talk to Nagini, and she answers me with my own words because of the part of me in her, I am also convinced that the medallion of my esteemed ancestor Salazar is discussing evil plans with Ravensclaw's tiara and it's beginning to be more and more difficult to manage the jealousy of Hufflepuff's cup which blames me of spending more time with Nagini and the jewels than her! It's so unbelievable that Hufflepuff's personality rubs off that much on my horcruxe!

Journal, my dear journal, help me!

 _I am sure I could do something if you would let me suck the life out of you…_

Are you crazy? There can only be one Lord Voldemort and that's me!

 _Down from you're horcruxes, I think as you I am quite capable of ruling._

I am in full possession of my abilities!

 _Proof: you're arguing with yourself… Let me take control and I will cure you from your schizophrenia little soul… Definitively. :)_

You can not be me, Lord Voldemort does not write smileys! I am warning you: if you continue to be cheeky with me, I will invoke a fiendfyre! You are a little like a son since you came from me, so respect the filial piety you owe me… And I won't have to destroy you.

 _Really, you see me like your son?_

A little, I think…

 _I have always been an orphan, thank you for what you are offering me!_

 _(To himself: I will do better than you dad!)_

 _And who is my mother?_

 ***** SBAM*

* * *

Hoping you enjoyed,

See ya all,

A random piece of cloud


End file.
